Sports Punditry Lover Pillows

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"Lord Stanley's Cup...and Bailey"

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

Punishment for the kicker.

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

Footballer kicking his own brain.

Football heads...

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

"Listen, I've had 25 fights and won all but 24 of them."

Ski Surfing

Captain Ahab and Moby Dick in Retirement

'...And Timmy, as usual, will guard goal.'

Audacity of Hope.

'In this...um...part of the circle...'

Free Speech has heavy price.

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

Mudville

'Please open your mouth and say '68, 56, 87, ..'

Dominique Valera - The King/Cat

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

Jack Nicholas - Sun-Visor

"Just to set the record straight, I'm leaving you because you never turn your body to the net, you don't have a smooth swing, and because your forehand, backhand, and volley are inadequate!"

The only drug this league tests positive for is Geritol.

Organically Grown Athlete - Guaranteed free of chemicals.