Sports Talk Show Lover Pillows

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Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

'Best save I've ever seen.'

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

Jose Mourinho & Roman Abramovich Caricature.

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Pole Vault Rules

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

Ok, ok, maybe you guys are right - maybe I do have a concussion.

'We've conducted a chemical analysis of the beef in hot dogs, and we've determined, Mr Ruth, you are guilty of steroid enhancement.'

The Boys of Indian Summer

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

Dr. Kapuchnik, I notice that you've been quoting Dr. Phil a lot lately. That's because I'm hoping that if he sees me sucking up to him in the comics, he'll bankroll the TV-show proposal I sent to his production company, Gasbag Enterprises.

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

Footballer kicking his own brain.

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

Men discussing a book on a chat show

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

'Charles is a linguist. He speaks three language...golf, baseball and football.'

How to get on talk shows by promoting your new book

"Listen, I've had 25 fights and won all but 24 of them."

Captain Ahab and Moby Dick in Retirement

T-Rex Racing: A Short-Lived Sport

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking your calls. I'll tell you how to fix your hopeless relationship or cope with all the people at work who really are better than you. Then I'll berate you for not manning up and dealing with it on your own instead of bugging me about it! Los Angeles, CA, you're on. What's your problem? Click.

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am 62 years old and was fired from my job of 22 years just before xmas 2010. What should I do? Sincerely, Irene. Attack! Stop! Enough, Sadie. Haven't you been listening? The mean-spirited, virulent partisanship of talk show hosts must end. People were hurt and some died. Aren't you the ultimate partisan, you coot? That's different lady! Fasten your seatbelts.