Media Pundit Gifts

'Oddly enough, I feel offended...'

"‘Nicole Richie arrested for DUI’ ... Bless that girl, she never lets me down."

You have a right to remain silent, whip the media into a frenzy of speculation, and cash in on the talk show circuit.

My opinions do not necessarily reflect those of the station, its advertisers and especially the teleprompter technician, who thinks I'm a total freakin' mor

'This mindless blather is edited for TV.'

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

In the Guru District

They're Not Just That Into It

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

CEO du Jour

Difference of Opinion

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

Where does it all end up?

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

Obama Healthcare.

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

'It's cheaper than gas.'

Display of political memoirs books categorized as: 'Non-fiction,' 'Fiction,' and 'Pure Fantasy'.

"That's a very difficult problem to address, Ted, could you restate it as a solution?"

Backtrack! A game of Political Undoing

The wind catches Congressman Blowviatt's jerkin.