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'Oddly enough, I feel offended...'

"‘Nicole Richie arrested for DUI’ ... Bless that girl, she never lets me down."

'This mindless blather is edited for TV.'

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

In the Guru District

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

CEO du Jour

Difference of Opinion

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

Where does it all end up?

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Obama Healthcare.

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

'It's cheaper than gas.'

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

"That's a very difficult problem to address, Ted, could you restate it as a solution?"

Display of political memoirs books categorized as: 'Non-fiction,' 'Fiction,' and 'Pure Fantasy'.

Budget

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

How to make crocodiles cry. . .Living wage proposal.

'Apologists today said little white lies -- but not the big lie -- may have played a part in Iraq Policies....'

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