Press Pundit Gifts

'You're going to stitch me up in this interview aren't you?'

News vendors selling their respective newspapers. The News of the World vendor is selling the Big Issue.

"It's life in a fish bowl, …. What else can I say?"

Rise of the Amateur Internet Reporter

Before you read the Guardian, ask yourself: do I need to?

Natasha Bertrand

Ostrich with head buried in newspaper

Jeremy Paxman.

Newspaper circulation gauge.

"You know our 'Never-Overwhelm-The-Reader' policy. Your story is irrelevant, trivial and stupid but not irrelevant, trivial and stupid enough."

"M'lord, my client has been portrayed in the press as some kind of monster."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

In the Guru District

They're Not Just That Into It

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

CEO du Jour

Difference of Opinion

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

Where does it all end up?

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

Obama Healthcare.

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

"The inhabitants of Pluto today declared Earth not a planet..."