Press Pundit Pillows

'You're going to stitch me up in this interview aren't you?'

News vendors selling their respective newspapers. The News of the World vendor is selling the Big Issue.

"It's life in a fish bowl, …. What else can I say?"

Ostrich with head buried in newspaper

Newspaper circulation gauge.

"You know our 'Never-Overwhelm-The-Reader' policy. Your story is irrelevant, trivial and stupid but not irrelevant, trivial and stupid enough."

"M'lord, my client has been portrayed in the press as some kind of monster."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

In the Guru District

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

CEO du Jour

Difference of Opinion

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

Where does it all end up?

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Obama Healthcare.

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"The inhabitants of Pluto today declared Earth not a planet..."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

'It's cheaper than gas.'

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

Display of political memoirs books categorized as: 'Non-fiction,' 'Fiction,' and 'Pure Fantasy'.

"That's a very difficult problem to address, Ted, could you restate it as a solution?"

Budget

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."