Television Pundit Gifts

"We're TV pundits debating the issues."

Official Rhetoric About Leakers and Whistleblowers, Translated

If I survive this, I'm reinventing myself as a television pundit.

Sean Hannity

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

In the Guru District

They're Not Just That Into It

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

CEO du Jour

Difference of Opinion

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

Liberal Vote-Shaming Explained

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

Where does it all end up?

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

Obama Healthcare.

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

'It's cheaper than gas.'

"That's a very difficult problem to address, Ted, could you restate it as a solution?"

Display of political memoirs books categorized as: 'Non-fiction,' 'Fiction,' and 'Pure Fantasy'.

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

Torturing the English Language