Asymmetry Admirer Gifts

Pisa and Son Architects - all the men have lopsided heads.

"Actually, make that a double cream."

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

Reading my Critics

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"We're at the top of the food chain and rulers of all we survey. What could possibly go wrong?"

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"Just don’t tell the other vultures. I’ll never hear the end of it."

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

"I'm Albert, your new mathematics teacher, but you can call me Al."

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

'And then, just to humor the guy I said 'I need a hug', little thinking that the big gorilla would do just that.'

Caution: ironic literal proverb ahead (fork in the road)

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

'Don't worry it's organic...'

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

Met Office: Wet today and dry tomorrow.

"Beats me. They put up the sign and went to their panic room."

Data Extraction Social Media Theme Park

Welcome to algebra. As freshmen, you are the unknown variable X. After 32 years, I ask myself Y?

'Do you have to be so melodramatic?'

'The company I ran was non-profit, but that wasn't intentional.'

'I'm Bored'