Asteroid Theories T-Shirts

"You left this on our ship."

Alien Assumption

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"

Elevator Music

Astronaut runs on spinning asteroid to reach space shuttle's tether.

Pentagon Science Contest: '...It's a contest by the pentagon. They're gonna pay out half a million bucks to someone who comes up with the best idea on how people could travel to another solar system.'

Giorgio A. Tsoukalos - Ancient Aliens

'Take me to your computer.'

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

"After finally discovering that we exist, you would think you would have something more important to ask than if we had Roku."

'Remember when the authorities were notified when we were spotted? Now nobody cares. They think we're drones.'

'Harnessing the Black Hole.'

Asteroid Bennu

Robot Attack in Bath

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"We're Quietly Confident That It Smells Of Cinnamon"

But what the asteroid hadn't counted on was the plucky courage and dogged determination of one young man. Albert Snipe, asteroid hunter.

Another archaeological site where some believe ancients had help from aliens.

"Take us to your most influential power couple."

'Of course we're not going to experiment on you. We needed another hand for our bridge game.'

"Sir, there's a crack in our lens!"

Doping

Alien Shopping List: Milk, Bread, Bin Bags, Earthling.

Above a fisherman a flying saucer hovers dangling a worm on a hook.

"Take us to your leader!"

I knew we didn't have enough blocks for this thing.'

"Wow, that thing is bright! Glad we wore our sunglasses!"

'We're not going to Roswell again, it's such a tourist trap.'

'You may find a few things have evolved since we abducted you for our research.'

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

"I'm not sure if this proves there was intelligent life on this planet or not."