Assembly Ace Gifts

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

'It all started when he tried to assemble a backyard gym without reading the instructions.'

Failure/Due Diligence

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

Whack-a-molecule

'Because of the mess, 'Mr. Potato Salad-Head' never took off.'

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'

'Wilkins! Keep your eyes on your own cadaver!'

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

The AdRams Family no.13 - Exams

Caution: use only under child supervison

'I'm reporting you to the Department of Education!'

A man with a shirt reading 'No Pain No Gain' runs past a man who is relaxing with a 'No Pain No Pain' shirt on.

'Come on, come on! Bite! Oh, man... He's looking right at it!!'

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

Ins and Outs of Sex Therapy

An outstanding high school pole vaulter, Kevin was never caught coming home late,

"I'm recommending more video games. I'm worried about his hand eye coordination."

'No wonder it was so hard to assemble. I thought it was supposed to be a basketball hoop, not a weapon of mass destruction.'

"I can't find the instructions."

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

"Term paper?! How do we do that? We haven't done a term paper all year!"

"Knowing two languages is sure handy when telemarketers call."

"The instructions state that some anger, frustration and confusion is expected."

'Every single piece of homework handed in this morning - there couldn't have been much on TV last night!'

"Relax. They come in pieces."

Life Is Just A Game

Man tries to build a traditional Indian Guru bed using flatpack furniture.

"Be rational."

'Stupid teacher! - I have to do a report on a book that hasn't even been made into a MOVIE!'