Application Ace Gifts

'If we're interested, we'll have our database contact your database.'

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'I've had some replies to those job applications I sent off.'

Personnel Office. Very impressive resume, but of course we'll need to verify this experience you say you have.

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

'There's really no need for confusion. Page 95, section 33, paragraph L in this scholarship application instructions quite clearly says ... '

'What made that candidate stand out?'

"Today we're filling out mock college applications."

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

Nerd tryouts.

Do you want to win the game or my business?

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

Failure/Due Diligence

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

Whack-a-molecule

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'

Aging Support Group

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'I'm reporting you to the Department of Education!'

The AdRams Family no.13 - Exams

A man with a shirt reading 'No Pain No Gain' runs past a man who is relaxing with a 'No Pain No Pain' shirt on.

Fed up with unnecessary bureaucracy?...what people don't appreciate is that if they don't fill out their C90D then how can we POSSIBLY know how many C90ds there ARE!

An outstanding high school pole vaulter, Kevin was never caught coming home late,

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

'Dear, the good doctor appears to have misplaced my file. Can you fax over your copy?'

Ins and Outs of Sex Therapy

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

In one ear/Out the other.

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

"I'm recommending more video games. I'm worried about his hand eye coordination."

"And that is how you handle liver!"

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."