Analytics Ace Gifts

Negative bar is taped onto bar graph in business meeting.

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

Nerd tryouts.

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

Congratulations! All that cramming paid off.

"It's all a matter of planning...."

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

Failure/Due Diligence

"So the secret to getting good grades is to study hard...seems a little extreme!"

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

"We've invented a new word!"

Real data visualization specialists are 100% committed to their profession.

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

Dept. of History. This term paper doens't have any footnotes at all! I'm suffering from citer's block!

'As you can clearly see, our profits continue to climb well into the third quarter.'

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

'No, copyright does not mean you have the right to copy it.'

'In celebration of Thanksgiving, this week's pie charts are all pumpkin flavored!'

'Well done! This works much better.'

Workers are running out of one door labeled 'Reactive Business Intelligence,' while another worker in the next room sits calmly behind a door with a sign that reads, 'Proactive Business Intelligence.'

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

"No, you can't ask Alexa a quick question. This is a test, so you're on your own."

Scenes we'd most like to see...

Fed up with unnecessary bureaucracy?...what people don't appreciate is that if they don't fill out their C90D then how can we POSSIBLY know how many C90ds there ARE!

'Dear, the good doctor appears to have misplaced my file. Can you fax over your copy?'