Assessment Ace Gifts

"I'm not going to record any of those F's. I just wanted to know if I still had it."

'They all want to play the star.'

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

Lethal Presentation

Man at desk with two in-trays reading 'urgent' and 'too late'.

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

Congratulations! All that cramming paid off.

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

Failure/Due Diligence

Civics Class: Mock Election Today. Oh, no --- Another multiple choice test!

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

"So the secret to getting good grades is to study hard...seems a little extreme!"

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

"We've invented a new word!"

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'

"We thought this was more realistic."

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

Dept. of History. This term paper doens't have any footnotes at all! I'm suffering from citer's block!

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

'I'm reporting you to the Department of Education!'

'No, copyright does not mean you have the right to copy it.'

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....

X Factor contestant dressed as a 'Y'.

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

"No, you can't ask Alexa a quick question. This is a test, so you're on your own."

Scenes we'd most like to see...

When Managers have a Four Seasons pizza.

THEATRICAL AGENCY, 'We have an opening to do some commercials - How'd you like to be the LEAST interesting man in the world?'

Try to hold your audience's attention when giving a presentation.

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

"You can't see a grief counselor just because you got a 'B'."

"Your first thirty days is a probationary period. Following that, we'll review your performance and consider giving you a cubicle with a door!"