Academic Ace Gifts

'No, copyright does not mean you have the right to copy it.'

"So the secret to getting good grades is to study hard...seems a little extreme!"

'When I call your name, step forward to receive your certificate of overqualification.'

'Miss Harrison said it's a better report than the ones you used to get when you were in her class.'

Keep it simple

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....

Lincoln Standardized Test Center. Formerly Lincoln High School.

"My dad says I won't need a career mentor until at least 3rd grade."

Congratulations! All that cramming paid off.

Dept. of History. This term paper doens't have any footnotes at all! I'm suffering from citer's block!

Teacher: 'Billy-y-y! Keep your eyes on your own paper!'

"School starts in two weeks!"

"What does your father do for a living?"

Gracie can't sleep by counting sheep so she sleeps by counting A+ grades.

"We've invented a new word!"

"I gave 110% on the last quiz, so don't expect the same results now that I'm working at a deficit."

"Sweetie, you don't look old enough to be a major."

"No, you can't ask Alexa a quick question. This is a test, so you're on your own."

'Let's see...to always use a #2 pencil...to print my name clearly...and to blacken in the ovals completely.'

"I dumbed it down."

Paper to kid: 'Did you forget something? I'm your take home test.'

'It was a surprise quiz to me and the teacher - I passed!'

'Ten 'A's? Frankly son, I'm disappointed that you're not more of a disappointment to me.'

'Parents have been complaining that I'm too strict? You want me to be a little less intimidating? Do you want me to send students to your office 47 times a day? I'm a 67-year-old woman dealing with 16-year-old thugs....

Scenes we'd most like to see...

"Your school report is brilliant! It's going straight into the fireproof box for safe keeping..."

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

"Spell 'flower'" "F-L-O-W-E-R" "Spell 'onomatopoeia'" "This contest is rigged"

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.