Academia Ace Gifts

'Dad. I have a paper due on international relations, so I'm going out with that cute exchange student from Spain.'

"Tests! That's one thing I don't like about the end of school. I can't believe it! You're not finished studying, either?"

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Ethics exam cheater.

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

Eternal Student.

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

'They all want to play the star.'

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

Continuing education.

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

Exam

Scientists are sexy

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

The intellectual.

"Ah, ha! The universe IS expanding! I can't find my glasses anywhere!"

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

Calculation Board - You Are Here

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

Miss America IQ Pageant

'So what are you studying, young man?'

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