Assassin Gifts

Searching for a unique gift for an assassin professional? Our collection combines sharp humor and striking designs on mugs, t-shirts, pillows, and prints. Perfect for those who thrive in the shadows or just love a dangerous sense of style. Surprise an agent of intrigue with something that speaks to their deadly finesse, whether for a birthday, a secret Santa, or just because. These cleverly crafted items celebrate their daring profession with humor and flair.

All Products Prints T-Shirts Mugs Pillows

'I'm thinkin' this sleeping with the fishes option ain't best practices.'

'I'm thinkin' this sleeping with the fishes option ain't best practices.' mockup

'I'm thinkin' this sleeping with the fishes option ain't best practices.'

from $19.00

I understand you can find people, but can you lose them as well?

I understand you can find people, but can you lose them as well? mockup

I understand you can find people, but can you lose them as well?

from $19.00

'Are you the one they call 'the silencer'?' 'Say no more.'

'Are you the one they call 'the silencer'?' 'Say no more.' mockup

'Are you the one they call 'the silencer'?' 'Say no more.'

from $19.00

"This is a silencerfor my dagger..." mockup

"This is a silencerfor my dagger..."

from $19.00

"They say he knows 37 ways to kill a man with a rock."

"They say he knows 37 ways to kill a man with a rock." mockup

"They say he knows 37 ways to kill a man with a rock."

from $19.00

'The least you can say is thank you for checking the tides.'

'The least you can say is thank you for checking the tides.' mockup

'The least you can say is thank you for checking the tides.'

from $19.00

'ARRRGH you idiot,you idiot!!' 'When i said take the Don out, i MEANT for lunch!!' (a stupid mob guy kills the boss)

'ARRRGH you idiot,you idiot!!' 'When i said take the Don out, i MEANT for lunch!!' (a stupid mob guy kills the boss) mockup

'ARRRGH you idiot,you idiot!!' 'When i said take the Don out, i MEANT for lunch!!' (a stupid mob guy kills the boss)

from $19.00

Hitman To Do List...

from $19.00

"It's a slow hit man!"

from $19.00

"There's a mouse needs taking care of..."

"There's a mouse needs taking care of..." mockup

"There's a mouse needs taking care of..."

from $19.00

'Sorry, I don't take contracts on cats, they're too difficult to bump off: They have nine lives!'

'Sorry, I don't take contracts on cats, they're too difficult to bump off: They have nine lives!' mockup

'Sorry, I don't take contracts on cats, they're too difficult to bump off: They have nine lives!'

from $19.00

"Your mommy, Caitlin, is a hired gun." mockup

"Your mommy, Caitlin, is a hired gun."

from $19.00

As company assassin you're entitled to an office with two windows.

As company assassin you're entitled to an office with two windows. mockup

As company assassin you're entitled to an office with two windows.

from $19.00

"Whack him. And if you can't whack him, redact him."

"Whack him. And if you can't whack him, redact him." mockup

"Whack him. And if you can't whack him, redact him."

from $19.00

"Have a good day at work, dear. And don't forget to make it look like an accident."

"Have a good day at work, dear. And don't forget to make it look like an accident." mockup

"Have a good day at work, dear. And don't forget to make it look like an accident."

from $19.00

My Son the Hit Man.

from $19.00

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?" mockup

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

from $19.00

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building mockup

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

from $19.00

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?' mockup

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

from $19.00

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.' mockup

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

from $19.00

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'." mockup

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

from $19.00

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day. Teach a man to fish and you can charge a consulting fee."

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day. Teach a man to fish and you can charge a consulting fee." mockup

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day. Teach a man to fish and you can charge a consulting fee."

from $19.00

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight. mockup

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

from $19.00

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.' mockup

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

from $19.00

'Houston, we have a problem.'

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"And with you on guard, I won't have to worry about that monster under my bed."

"And with you on guard, I won't have to worry about that monster under my bed." mockup

"And with you on guard, I won't have to worry about that monster under my bed."

from $19.00

Viking Loch Ness

from $19.00

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?" mockup

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

from $19.00

"He never passes by without a mischievous smile."

"He never passes by without a mischievous smile." mockup

"He never passes by without a mischievous smile."

from $19.00

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun." mockup

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

from $19.00

"Remember, Man of good Sense not here to do work on your behalf. Man of good Sense only here to help you on strategic level until you wise enough to overcome recession."

"Remember, Man of good Sense not here to do work on your behalf. Man of good Sense only here to help you on strategic level until you wise enough to overcome recession."

from $19.00