Assassin T-Shirts

'I'm thinkin' this sleeping with the fishes option ain't best practices.'

I understand you can find people, but can you lose them as well?

'Are you the one they call 'the silencer'?' 'Say no more.'

"This is a silencerfor my dagger..."

"They say he knows 37 ways to kill a man with a rock."

'The least you can say is thank you for checking the tides.'

'ARRRGH you idiot,you idiot!!' 'When i said take the Don out, i MEANT for lunch!!' (a stupid mob guy kills the boss)

Hitman To Do List...

"It's a slow hit man!"

"There's a mouse needs taking care of..."

'Sorry, I don't take contracts on cats, they're too difficult to bump off: They have nine lives!'

"Your mommy, Caitlin, is a hired gun."

As company assassin you're entitled to an office with two windows.

"Whack him. And if you can't whack him, redact him."

"Have a good day at work, dear. And don't forget to make it look like an accident."

My Son the Hit Man.

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day. Teach a man to fish and you can charge a consulting fee."

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

'Houston, we have a problem.'

"And with you on guard, I won't have to worry about that monster under my bed."

Viking Loch Ness

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

"He never passes by without a mischievous smile."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"Remember, Man of good Sense not here to do work on your behalf. Man of good Sense only here to help you on strategic level until you wise enough to overcome recession."

"I can definitely give you my two cents, Sir – just let me know how you want it: Bitcoin, Paypal, or Venmo."

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

Cometh the Cow!

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."