Aspirational Parent Gifts

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

Children in fancy dress on the way to music lessons

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

'My ultimate goal is to do product promo in a popular Super Bowl T.V ad.'

World's Best Dad. I don't know. I thought they were with you. World's Best Mom.

"I'd put his name down for Eton if I could spell it!"

'I have her registered in a pre-med nursery program.'

"...and would you like to enroll her in pre-pre-pre-med or pre-pre-law?"

Parenting Academy...I failed insemination.

Be A Doctor

"Look Daddy, at least the poor economy hasn't affected the Tooth Fairy yet!"

"You can make your life any way you want it. Don't let your thoughts limit your future. It is possible to achieve your dreams!"

"Did you ever have that baby you wanted so much?"

'I'm sure this is the right exit .'

The not-so-living wall

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

'I bought it off the irregular rack, but I'm hoping he'll grow into it.'

"Mom, there's a monster under my bed. Can we keep it?"

Money And Prestige

"We need to hurry to your next extracurricular activity before the void of my unfulfilled ambitions catches up."

'That's not the image I wanted to leave him with.'

'Good morning, Dad, It's your turn to be the cowboys!'

"Who'd want to Retire...what would you do with your time?...Apart from spend time with your kids...see all those places you always promised you would...be the person you want to be...have a life!"

"I'll be the best side dish ever."

"Just wait 'til I've read this book."

". . . and this little piggy said 'to heck with it. Let's all go down to the Market Tavern!'"

"Delia, I’d like you to meet one of my oldest and dearest friends."

"Of course I'm down. I'm thirty-five years old and I've never run a studio."

IVF

Male and Female doors to IVF clinic

Minority Group Rights To Assisted Reproduction.

"I read the book and it has way better special effects than the movie."

"Or, it could be a huge advantage."

'I don't need to know all that stuff, Dad - I plan to adopt.'