Aspiring Parents Gifts

'I totally agree. I don't want kids either. Definitely not the maternal type. That said, I would never rule them out.'

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

Child using building blocks to get over a baby gate.

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

The Complete Book of Baby Names. Oooh, what do you think of 110101110110? Isn't that cute?

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

In the DNA Kitchen

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

"They look so young and helpless."

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

Baby, baby maker

Baby's First Words... Hi Guys!

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

Fat Kid 3- Pet slug runs amok (colour)

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

"So! When's the big day?"

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

'You can have a cute little boy like me. All you have to do is get pregnant.'

Daisy Diaper Service

World's Best Dad. I don't know. I thought they were with you. World's Best Mom.

Olga's Biological Clocks.

"I'd put his name down for Eton if I could spell it!"