Super Parent Wannabes Gifts

Home-Schooling Small Talk...

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

Supermom.

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

Food deliverer's baby.

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

Baby's First Words... Hi Guys!

Baby, baby maker

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'

Father nursing his sick child

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

A father of three

"I'd put his name down for Eton if I could spell it!"

'I've had some strange cravings during my pregnancy. Such as the one to strangle my husband.'

"It's perfect for starting a family."

man juggling career, home and children

Maternity ward: 'Baby talk spoken here.'

"Noah, I'm tired of doing battle with you!"

'We need to discuss your ultrasound.'

'First, let's see him program a DVD recorder.'

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'

balanced life

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."