Supermom Aspirant Gifts

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

'Will you pipe down? I'm in a business meeting.'

"How do you do it, hon? Marriage, kids, civic responsibilities, managing a multi-million dollar business and still finding time to do an 18-month stretch for securities fraud?"

Supermom.

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

Balancing work and family

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

"First break since 2008."

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

"I had to skip my workout."

Hassled Mother.

"I noticed that since I've been working at home you've been paying me hazard pay. How did you know?"

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

'Three kids, full-time job, night classes and coaches a girls basketball team. She's stretched a little thin.'

Miracle Mom #5,293

Luggage Mom

'This home based business is easy to set up. Everyone knows that women are better at multitasking.'

'I home-schooled all seven kids. Right now I'm in the teacher's lounge.'

"You're fatigued, run down, anxious, with high blood pressure, back ache, and a general malaise. You've got kids."

"This one's for volunteering for field trips. This one's for planning the class holiday parties. . ."

"And THAT was just the weekend!"

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after 3 children all day"

Having It All

"The Momfia"

Working mother

'My mom is really important in our house. She's the cook, housekeeper, nanny, lanundress and the boss.'

"You got custody of us, mommy, because you're the very best attorney picker."

"Noah, I'm tired of doing battle with you!"

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

"Your mom's a very special person."

Housewife with her toddler hooked on the end of the mop.

Parenting is... watching them sleep.

"Kosovo, Iraq, Afghanistan...Sarge Higgins is one hell of a tough guy! But he wouldn't have a chance against my mom - she raised three kids!"