Artsy Storyteller Gifts

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"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Swan Fairy Tales

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

J. R. R. Tolkien

The Demise of Tinkerbell

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

'Who I played in Summer Stock.'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"On New Year's Eve, Clement and I stayed up all night drinking. Tea, of course."

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

Kirsten Johnson

Creativity

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

I wonder what kind of wizard or vampire my husband will be

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

Three little pigs-mortgage.

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

'I'm sorry but my little boy, Jack, ruined them all today.'

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

"It doesn't say, Son, whether or not Noah wore a captain's hat."

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'