Playful Storyteller Gifts

"And now, if you'll hand me my sippy cup, I can begin the first draft of my children's book."

'I've gone over the numbers three times. The naughty have surpassed the nice.'

'Let's play horse. I'll be the head and you just be yourself.'

"Some gentlemen at the bar were wondering if you'd like to join them."

Daughters at Bedtime

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

Swan Fairy Tales

The Demise of Tinkerbell

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'Who I played in Summer Stock.'

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

How I met your mother

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

"It doesn't say, Son, whether or not Noah wore a captain's hat."

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'

My Spam Sketchbook

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

For the Wilsons, Gold Medalists Los Angeles '84, bathtime was always a ritual.

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

Santa's Helpers