Playful Narrator Gifts

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"Boy, that's what I call a maze."

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

A child as a pet substitute.

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

"Go on, say it again, 'I love you' in Armadillo."

Daughters at Bedtime

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

"Here we mark our data points, but the real fun is connecting the dots!"

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

'How now, brown cow?'

'I'm not playing with Kevin anymore. He's suing me.'

Artichoking victim

Heart To Heart

"I think I've eaten something that hasn't agreed with me."

Homework Help and Homework Eaten Stands

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

'This is Kevin O'Shea, my big sister's answering service.'

'I'm dropping you a lion.'

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

Larry, working on the great American stick-up note.

"Actually - he's rather your 'Me, Jane ' sort of boy!"

"Could you put me 'on hold' Mom? I could use a hug."

'Oh, yeah?...Well, no one has to follow me around with a pooper-scooper.'

"You forgot his tail."

'Great lunch box.'

"Some gentlemen at the bar were wondering if you'd like to join them."

'... and then Peter was Mr. McGregor...'

"Our house wine is abominable."

'This is Jake. I'm not in now, so please leave a message...HELLO! HELLO! This is Jake! Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm just mesin' with you! I'm still NOT in!'

'We're rich! We're rich! My mum's got goldstones!'