Artsy Dater Gifts

I'm thinking that for our first date, we should go to the "please touch" museum

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

Sexual chemistry set

"Eye of pie...a**e of rat...p**s of newt."

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

Einstein's Theory of Relativity For Dummies

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

Waterfall of Disappointment

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"I thought you did a great job with your gender neutral statements ... There will be a second date."

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."

Single men in Tahiti

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

'Let's do lunch.'

'Perhaps this will give you inspiration son?'

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

'She won't even look at me. It's like I'm a banner ad.'

Here's one for you... she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire... enjoys terrorizing villages...

"He's a terrible drunk."

"Nothing - he's ghosting you."

'Hey babe, I got two tickets to the gun show, you interested?'

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

I'm looking at photos of potential dates here. Your "screening" process.

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

'Romance-minded clown in hot pursuit of woman'

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'

Binge Scrapbooking: the morning after.

"So tell me again where you're from."

"Boy, your sister wasn't kidding when she said you were the face of the company."

"It's over between us Brian. . . as soon as I've announced it on twitter."

'You must be Olivia.'

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

"I'm so shallow."