Arts And Crafts Detectives T-Shirts

"Say what you will about Mad Dog Jensen. . . He was the craftiest adversary we ever faced!"

A boy acting suspiciously

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

Jerry's 'culture-vulture' persona was plunged into jeopardy when he mistook a light switch for a modern art installation.

Private Viewing

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

Art Plagiarism

In trays read: Bluff/Blink.

'At a guess I'd say it's one of the lesser Pharoahs.'

'Your father installed a security system.'

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

'What the hell is this the age of?'

'The sun'll be up soon. Can I go downstairs now?'

"You forgot to read the small print Mr Burrows. My charges are ten pounds a letter and you have two hundred and thirty three on this page."

"Hundreds of looted Christmas gifts. . . A missing reindeer. . . does that ring a bell, Mr. Rudolph?"

"Walking dead letter file."

'Say what you will about Mad Dog Jensen... He was the craftiest adversary we ever faced!'

"I've never met one, but I hear offices have fire drills."

William Morris

'Cops and Rubbers.'

"It's called The Pastry Shop Mystery. A real Whodoughnut."

The Police Artist.

'Oooh the Timpsons have got new blinds.' (Blinds read 'Sod off you nosy cow).

'Either currents have wings or there's a fly in this bun!'

Well, maybe you can find a do-it-yourself Youtube video showing a husband taking the clothes to the laundromat.

“The drain was plugged.”

"Bad news. It's a fake."

'Are you sure it's the original?'

"Helene tells me you're into fabrics."

'Antiques are things one generation buys, the next generation gets rid of, and the following generation buys again.'