Artistic Detective T-Shirts

'Jimmy. Stick to the outline.'

'This looks like the work of a surreal killer.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

Private Viewing

Jerry's 'culture-vulture' persona was plunged into jeopardy when he mistook a light switch for a modern art installation.

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Art Plagiarism

In trays read: Bluff/Blink.

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

'We're sure they're in there... but we're not certain if they have weapons of mass destruction.'

'At a guess I'd say it's one of the lesser Pharoahs.'

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

"That's not the stick, it's a blood-stained satchel full of money... but hey, good boy!"

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

Optician and the PI.

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

"I'm getting dangerously close to figuring out what I did last night."

Good Cop, Bad Clown: 'Ok, ok I'll tell you what you want! Just make that creepy clown stop staring at me!'

He's mumbling again! What do you think husbands dream about?

'What the hell is this the age of?'

'You're an inspector now?'

Mystery section...

'Nice try buddy, but we know the score. You were involved, but you only played a small part. What we want to know is who orchestrated this thing.'

'Don't be absurd, Holmes. There is no way Moriarty could get at our Swiss account!'

"Wake up, Jane! There's a giant talking squirrel at the end of your bed!"

"You forgot to read the small print Mr Burrows. My charges are ten pounds a letter and you have two hundred and thirty three on this page."

"Sorry about the disguise.But we've had to reduce our budget for the 'witness protection programme'."

"Just tell us what we want to know, and you can sit in the comfortable chair."

For latent content, see your psychiatrist.