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Private Viewing

Dead Funny

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

He kept pretending he was going to work when he was just running errands.

Jerry's 'culture-vulture' persona was plunged into jeopardy when he mistook a light switch for a modern art installation.

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

Art Plagiarism

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

In trays read: Bluff/Blink.

"A conundrum, rather than an outright mess, I think, Mrs Ellis..."

"I detect an accent – money?"

'Not only is he a good hunting dog he's a good watch dog.'

"You forgot to read the small print Mr Burrows. My charges are ten pounds a letter and you have two hundred and thirty three on this page."

'Oh dear. My husband looks suspicious.'

I don't trust that guy.

Private View.

The Police Artist.

'Cops and Rubbers.'

"Walking dead letter file."

'It looks fishy to me.'

"It's old Mister Banks, the wealthy, establishment art figure!"

"Bad news. It's a fake."

'Are you sure it's the original?'

Tax Office - Gotcha

'This looks like the work of a surreal killer.'

C.V.-Mind your own business, "Welcome to the CIA."

Spying on the Football Match

"A birdbath, eh? -- you some kinda voyeur?"

They spent ages trying to decide if the painting had, or had not, been vandalised.

Man puzzled by a question mark in a painting.

"Well, this initial test suggests that the authenticity of your Rembrandt may be questionable."