Artistic Wizard Gifts

'31 years in graphic design eh, so I shouldn't be surprised you've retouched your photo on your CV.'

"Baldo, you're a very good artist! You should put your talent to use."

Rhapsody in Blue.

"Home depot."

Nerd tryouts.

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Newt sale

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

"Just ignore it. It's a mirage."

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

Sorry, I've said all I can say in this medium.

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

"Name your sources."

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

"Victims of out-sorcery."

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

Remember, honey, abracadabra doesn't work anymore. Now it's command, option, shift.

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

'With this organ transplant, you may find yourself doing a lot of thinking with your heart,'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

Spell Check

"Oh well, I'm off the see the orthopedist."

Best Special Effects Award

"Okay brother Bickle, you can keep your underpants on"

"Right! It's a heart op, neurosurgery and counselling. And I'll have the Wiz"

'Your resume looks good. Let me hear some of your incantations.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"So your successful fantasy novels are based on your own experiences....can you elaborate on that?"