Artistic Wizard Pillows

'31 years in graphic design eh, so I shouldn't be surprised you've retouched your photo on your CV.'

"Baldo, you're a very good artist! You should put your talent to use."

"Home depot."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Nerd tryouts.

Newt sale

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

"Just ignore it. It's a mirage."

Sorry, I've said all I can say in this medium.

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

Remember, honey, abracadabra doesn't work anymore. Now it's command, option, shift.

"Victims of out-sorcery."

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

Spell Check

"Oh well, I'm off the see the orthopedist."

Best Special Effects Award

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"So your successful fantasy novels are based on your own experiences....can you elaborate on that?"

"Okay brother Bickle, you can keep your underpants on"

"I still say they've overdone the anti-aging CGI."

'Your resume looks good. Let me hear some of your incantations.'

"Right! It's a heart op, neurosurgery and counselling. And I'll have the Wiz"

'Why don't we try a renegotiated buyout offer before we go with the Plague of Rabid Bats thing.'