Literary Wizard Pillows

The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

'Howard Yonkers, World's fastest reader.'

"I need some help to write my self-help book..."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

"Baldo, you're a very good artist! You should put your talent to use."

"My preferred pronoun is they."

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

Library door sign says, 'We have encyclopedias ... the original Facebook!'

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."

"Your appendix is fine. It's your glossary I'm worried about."

'31 years in graphic design eh, so I shouldn't be surprised you've retouched your photo on your CV.'

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

"Name your sources."

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

Shakespeare Quote

Remember, honey, abracadabra doesn't work anymore. Now it's command, option, shift.

"Victims of out-sorcery."

A. Lincoln, President. The "of the people, by the people, for the people" part is great, Abe, but the "people who need people" section may be overkill.

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

'How many words per minute do you type?'

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."