Writing Wizards Pillows

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

"It's the first tell-all book by a former Administration insider written entirely in iambic pentameter."

'My parents can't ever criticize my writing because they're both doctors!'

War & Peace as it was and written and as it would have been written if Tolstoy had invested in a good word processor.

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"I haven't written anything yet, but I'm looking for someone to ghostwrite my book 'how to delegate.'"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

I will study my speling words...

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

"Puss in cement boots"

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

"My preferred pronoun is they."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

"It's a play on words."

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

'If you don't chill out, you are definitely heading for a meltdown...!'

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

'I swear by my spell checker. I have a mental block for spelling. Even 'Hooqued on Foniks' didn't help.'