Writing Whiz Pillows

"I'm sorry, Dave, but our marriage has lost its narrative flow."

Important Writing Skills

A Court Reporter's Pocket Knife

'The Moving Finger Writes; And, Having Writ, Moves On To A Three Week, Twenty City Book Tour.'

"Brilliant cover letter, lousy résumé."

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

Writing the poem was easy: there are lots of words rhyming with "snow"...

'I follow my diet to the letter. It's dotting my Is and crossing my Ts closing my Os and opening my Es that's giving me trouble.'

Sub Editor

Penfriend

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

Multi-tasking.

Dog Park

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

Nerd tryouts.

Sauce for the Goose

Ninedency: A budding tendency

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

'My dog ate my computer.'

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

STRIP Hambone: Workers help is a hindrance

"The results are impressive, but it'll be decades before we can transmit and receive pornography."

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

"It's a swearbox."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."