Artifacts T-Shirts

Laborer stealing archeological discoveries

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

An ancient Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

"Good heavens, Caruthers. It's the wife!"

"It's running five minutes fast."

Reluctantly, Indiana Jones reaches for the true cup of Christ.

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

Dog finds a nice bone at the museum.

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"

"Don't you sometimes worry that if they do give us our stuff back we'll lose some of the sense of grievance that's so crucial to our cultural identity?"

Haunted museum

'Great to see the Mayan pottery collection is still drawing a crowd.'

"One day son, all this will be going with me."

Archeological find in the Myanmar jungle.

'Now, a real collectable to bid on: a signed first edition of The First History of the World.'

"Norman, let's lend out the Olmec head."

My own museum.

Mummy is alive at an Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

'He was an evil king.'

'Village store and Food museum'

The Wonder Of It All

Museum - Mummy as a sales assistant.

"This coin must be 2,000 years old. Try not to put this one in a pop machine."

"You must stop digging up the past."

'I just think we should start dating other artifacts.'

Tourist

"You always seem to get good grades in Show and Tell."

"THIS is the cup of a Carpenter."

'Not THE Rosetta Stone?'

'It's Mexico, dear. They need some of their stuff back.'