Artifacts Gifts

Laborer stealing archeological discoveries

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

An ancient Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

Piles of trash discarded by ancient people are a rich source of artifacts for archaeologists. I unearthed garbage dumps that advanced our understanding of prehistoric societies. On the island of Crete I found ancient trash that increased our knowledge about the Minoan people. And I recently uncovered informative Celtic rubbish. Please stop saying studying ancient cultures by what they threw away is "junk science"!

Museum. Hours. You're donating your collection of pre-Columbian art? Yes! What's Mayan is yours!

"It's running five minutes fast."

"Good heavens, Caruthers. It's the wife!"

Reluctantly, Indiana Jones reaches for the true cup of Christ.

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

Dog finds a nice bone at the museum.

"Don't you sometimes worry that if they do give us our stuff back we'll lose some of the sense of grievance that's so crucial to our cultural identity?"

'Great to see the Mayan pottery collection is still drawing a crowd.'

Haunted museum

"One day son, all this will be going with me."

"Of course, it might help if we actually found something every once in a while!"

My own museum.

Archeological find in the Myanmar jungle.

'Now, a real collectable to bid on: a signed first edition of The First History of the World.'

"Norman, let's lend out the Olmec head."

Mummy is alive at an Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

'Village store and Food museum'

The Wonder Of It All

Museum - Mummy as a sales assistant.

Wow, a thousand-year-old artifact! What a discovery! 2019. Wow, a patch of land not buried in thousand-year-old useless artifacts! What a discovery! 3019.

'He was an evil king.'

"This coin must be 2,000 years old. Try not to put this one in a pop machine."

"You must stop digging up the past."

A man searching an Egyptian tomb finds a Shriner hat and car.

'I just think we should start dating other artifacts.'

'It's Mexico, dear. They need some of their stuff back.'

'Not THE Rosetta Stone?'

"You always seem to get good grades in Show and Tell."

"THIS is the cup of a Carpenter."