Artifact Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

Reluctantly, Indiana Jones reaches for the true cup of Christ.

A Real Find

An Amazing Discovery.

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

An ancient Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

Antiques

"Good heavens, Caruthers. It's the wife!"

Posh Easter Egg

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"

Dog finds a nice bone at the museum.

"Don't you sometimes worry that if they do give us our stuff back we'll lose some of the sense of grievance that's so crucial to our cultural identity?"

"I'm still looking, sir?"

Authentic Rinkelmier chair (Built 1723)

Haunted museum

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

'Great to see the Mayan pottery collection is still drawing a crowd.'

Books of Tablets

"Aha! - Proof that this is definitely an iron-age site..."

The Old Curiosity Shop

"Norman, let's lend out the Olmec head."

My own museum.

'Now, a real collectable to bid on: a signed first edition of The First History of the World.'

First aid and sculpture

Carbon Dating Agency

"I've up cycled your Chippendale!"

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the antiques roadshow.

Antique silver

Archeological find in the Myanmar jungle.