Artifacts Admirer T-Shirts

Dog finds a nice bone at the museum.

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

Hadrian's Wall

An ancient Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

Museum. Hours. You're donating your collection of pre-Columbian art? Yes! What's Mayan is yours!

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

Piles of trash discarded by ancient people are a rich source of artifacts for archaeologists. I unearthed garbage dumps that advanced our understanding of prehistoric societies. On the island of Crete I found ancient trash that increased our knowledge about the Minoan people. And I recently uncovered informative Celtic rubbish. Please stop saying studying ancient cultures by what they threw away is "junk science"!

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

"Good heavens, Caruthers. It's the wife!"

"What makes you question our motives for coming here?"

Posh Easter Egg

Souvenirs.

Redecorating Easter Island.

Reluctantly, Indiana Jones reaches for the true cup of Christ.

Easter Island Tours. Theories differ. Ernie believes they were used to display a selection of giant wigs.

This will really mess with their minds someday.

Teddy Roosevelt

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"

"Don't you sometimes worry that if they do give us our stuff back we'll lose some of the sense of grievance that's so crucial to our cultural identity?"

Acme Slide Rules: 'We'll be here and ready, when the current electronic gadgetry fad fades!'

'It's just a calendar, who cares what it looks like?'

'Great to see the Mayan pottery collection is still drawing a crowd.'

"Tut's outdone himself this time."

Museum.

Haunted museum

Antiques

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Mangle

"Of course, it might help if we actually found something every once in a while!"

'Needs some underarm protection!!'

A monument gets down from his plinth.

"Norman, let's lend out the Olmec head."