Artifact Appreciator T-Shirts

"Don't you sometimes worry that if they do give us our stuff back we'll lose some of the sense of grievance that's so crucial to our cultural identity?"

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

Misunderstood artist

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

An ancient Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

"Now this I get."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

Juggler and Illusionist

Scarpia's Palace

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

'It doesn't do anything, it's just a very pleasing shape!'

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

"Good heavens, Caruthers. It's the wife!"

Artist on the Beach

Before Dogs Knew How To Play Poker,

Posh Easter Egg

Two monks play tic-tac-toe with calligraphy-style 'x's and 'o's.

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

Leaves falling out of a painting.

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

Reluctantly, Indiana Jones reaches for the true cup of Christ.

Ariana Grande caricature

'Isn't this cast great? Dr. Emily's minor was sculpture in college!'

The Famed Florsheim Illusion.

Coot on a jetty

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

Evolution or Creation? A Compromise