Arthritic Adventurer Gifts

'Don't talk to me about joint-pain...'

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

"I've told you before one at each end!"

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

'Wait! Don't get in. . . It's totally cold.'

'There may be the odd penguin out here but who's ever been frightened by a penguin ?'

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

The chosen few

"I just adore these shoes! The clicking of staccato heels is so empowering. . . Do these come in a flat?"

"I say we throw the damn things overboard."

"We'll see you soon, kids! Your mother and I have won a romantic cruise for two on some man's huge ark."

Actually, we penguins can fly

You're Bob? S orry, you researchers all look alike to me.

'I didn't know she wasn't you. Look, I can only distinguish between male and female, but beyond that, I haven't a clue.'

'Dang... so much ice around us, but not a lousy drop of Scotch!'

'Are you a hypochondriac who has everything but your regular placebo isn't doing the job? Talk to your doctor about the new extra-strength placebo.'

Antarctic tourists meet arctic bullies!

"I'm getting something to speed things up, Jenkins. A skateboard."

"Please cut and paste these prayers to an other gods up there....just in case I've been following the wrong one."

The advent of profanity: Noah to 3 monkeys: 'Only pairs are allowed on my ark, so one of you has to go!'

"Apparently, millions of years ago, penguins used to be six feet tall."

"Is my breath fishy?"

"These won't cure your allergy, but they'll send it a message."

Santa Claus donates blood.

"Argh! It's going to rain! My arthritis!"

'A tourist gave them to me and now I'm toasty and war.'

Tour de France champ Gastone Nencini

Scott of the Antarctic

Wheelchair lifts woman to top of library bookshelf.

I'll try searching 'Disabled Dining'.

Noah's AARP.