Art Snobs Gifts

"I'm serious-you could really pursue this as an embarrassing hobby."

The Artist

"And you can rest assured that your problem is being ignored at the very highest levels."

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

Listen, just because he's moving from fiction to literature doesn't mean he's better than us.

Easter Candy Island.

Donald Glover

"The audience is really classy tonight, they are throwing quail eggs."

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

'A frore basenji was mistaken for a stabile.'

"I've decided to redefine as a GREAT artist."

Great Moments in Art History: 1898 Francis Barraud finds inspiration after having his dog spayed.

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

Museum of Art and Science. Monet. "Claude Monet, the father of impressionism, was a master of light. He sometimes painted in series, showing the passage of time with evolving sunlight and shadows." Einstein. "Albert Einstein won a Nobel Prize in Physics for his work in the dual nature of light, behaving like both a wave and a particle, and how this duality explains the photoelectric effect." I love that! Even though Einstein and Monet both worked with light, the only thing their work has

"Here we have an all natural rock – before being artistically processed and stripped of its natural richness."

'I used to equate life and art -- then I married Art.'

"So this is fun---the artist is actually with us tonight."

'It says the artist got the idea while indulging in one of his hobbies.'

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

North Korean and South Korean hostilities.

'There can be such a thing as too much parental involvement.'

"It's a pitch spork. I bought it online."

'He lives under the illusion that Charles Saatchi is going to barge in here someday and buy everything.'

Duck painting picture of man painting picture of a duck.

Alien Mount Rushmore

"I love craft beer! It's opened an exciting new world of snobbery for me."

'The rot set in when I started doing these things in my own image - my early stuff was better.'

"I've seen this film ten times and it's still awful."

"It's one of my early works from before I could afford paint."

"You've hung this picture upside down!!"