Art Show Opening T-Shirts

'We must be early. It hasn't started yet.'

"An overload -- even this is beginning to look like Kitsch."

Private Viewing

Private View

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"Well....I could've done this!"

It's a call from Tate modern.

Painting taking root...

Candle Portraits.

Child's Drawing (With Elephantiasis)

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

Picasso: The Early Years

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

Creation of Red Wine

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

'Mom says finger painting was digital art before computers.'

'I think it's the best thing you've ever done!'

"I've just got this sudden craving for pizza."

Leaves falling out of a painting.

"I read 'Art News.'"

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

'Is this any way to treat a budding genius?'

Dogs looking at a fire hydrant in an art gallery.

'It's like a piece of music, like Mozart or Beethoven.'

"I can deal with the conceptual art and electronic music, but what are these hors d'oeuvres supposed to be."

"You don't look a day over 30,000."

'Yes, I'm very excited. I really think that I will make my mark as a surrealist miniaturist.'

'You're no Pollock.'

"Billy is turning out to be quite the little artist."

Instant art

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

Michelangelo's David is cleaned every two months.