Art Gallery Attendants T-Shirts

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

Rodin's Cattle-Grid

'Miss Donahue would give him an F.'

Baby vandalizes an art gallery.

Jackson Pollock Signs A Rent Check

Anyone would think it's Frieze week...

Art of Surviving

"I don't know art, but I know what I like!"

"How did this comma get in with all the pieces?"

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

In the art gallery

Friends of the Royal Academy - Annual Dinner

'Of course we can afford it, Reginald. Just get yourself fired as CEO!'

'A bad Picasso is still better than a good wall!'

"I could do that."

"Here the artist opted for a more impressionistic approach, because drawing a tree is hard."

Understanding art.

'Abstract art is supposed to look that way.' (A rather smarthy attitude in an art gallery)

"While, yes, I could produce those strokes, I lack the context to position an image in the ongoing conversation of contemporary art as enclosed by capitalist forces."

"This was his real breakthrough piece."

'God, it's a relief to get away from that exhibition of a bit.'

"You've once said about your work, 'Meow, meow-meow, meeeow.' What did you mean by that?"

Kid see shadow from mom as mom see shadow in painting.

"It's my latest work...I only vomited it this morning."

How Art Works.

'It's a selfie.'

Let's see...number 61...the painting's name is 'Calamity'.

"The Salvador Dali Museum does offer flex time to employees."

'Amazing isn't it? The eyes seem to follow you around the room.'

'I'm not cut out for this job' (Matisse sketch to cut out paper model)

"He had help. There were architecture specialists, costume specialists, angel specialists..."