Gallery Worker T-Shirts

'Rodin's wet blanket'

Rodin's Card School

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

'It's a Joan Biro.'

Painting taking root...

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'

Misunderstood artist

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

'I imagine you'll be asking for a full refund.'

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

'I just love this work from his macaroni period,'

"Now this I get."

'Wow, talk about genius!'

'What do you suppose he's trying to say?'

Baby vandalizes an art gallery.

I painted them all from memory.

Escher exhibition first floor

Art Gallery.

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

German School

Private Viewing

"I read 'Art News.'"

The sunglasses.

"I've just got this sudden craving for pizza."

Leaves falling out of a painting.

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

"It's wonderful, darling. It really says Manhattan."

Gallery Pranks

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'