Art Gallery Workers T-Shirts

'It's called, 'Paint a Picture, Buster, It'll Last Longer!''

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

Well, you know these child prodigies - they can be very demanding about how their work is displayed.

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

Rodin's Cattle-Grid

I painted them all from memory.

Jackson Pollock Signs A Rent Check

Morning and Afternoon Paintings

Anyone would think it's Frieze week...

Art of Surviving

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

"I don't know art, but I know what I like!"

Friends of the Royal Academy - Annual Dinner

In the art gallery

'A bad Picasso is still better than a good wall!'

"How did this comma get in with all the pieces?"

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

'Of course we can afford it, Reginald. Just get yourself fired as CEO!'

"Here the artist opted for a more impressionistic approach, because drawing a tree is hard."

'Abstract art is supposed to look that way.' (A rather smarthy attitude in an art gallery)

Understanding art.

"While, yes, I could produce those strokes, I lack the context to position an image in the ongoing conversation of contemporary art as enclosed by capitalist forces."

'Given the date, they must be organic.'

'It's a selfie.'

"The Salvador Dali Museum does offer flex time to employees."

How Art Works.

'God, it's a relief to get away from that exhibition of a bit.'

"This was his real breakthrough piece."

"You've once said about your work, 'Meow, meow-meow, meeeow.' What did you mean by that?"

Let's see...number 61...the painting's name is 'Calamity'.

'Amazing isn't it? The eyes seem to follow you around the room.'

'I'm not cut out for this job' (Matisse sketch to cut out paper model)

"I like it. Just trying to imagine how it would look in my yoga studio."