Art Gallery Worker T-Shirts

"Law & Order: Museum Guards."

I painted them all from memory.

Picture Sale

A Dog Plays A Trick On A Man In A Museum.

Security guard games.

Sign reads - 'We apologise for the theft of The Scream.' 'Felonious Munch.'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

Rodin's Cattle-Grid

'Miss Donahue would give him an F.'

Jackson Pollock Signs A Rent Check

Anyone would think it's Frieze week...

Gallery book shop - Rodin's Browser

Morning and Afternoon Paintings

Art of Surviving

"I don't know art, but I know what I like!"

"How did this comma get in with all the pieces?"

"Here the artist opted for a more impressionistic approach, because drawing a tree is hard."

Graffiti on the Mona Lisa.

Friends of the Royal Academy - Annual Dinner

'A bad Picasso is still better than a good wall!'

Woman on psychiatrists couch talking to statue in art museum.

'Of course we can afford it, Reginald. Just get yourself fired as CEO!'

In the art gallery

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

'Abstract art is supposed to look that way.' (A rather smarthy attitude in an art gallery)

Understanding art.

"While, yes, I could produce those strokes, I lack the context to position an image in the ongoing conversation of contemporary art as enclosed by capitalist forces."

'Given the date, they must be organic.'

'God, it's a relief to get away from that exhibition of a bit.'

"You've once said about your work, 'Meow, meow-meow, meeeow.' What did you mean by that?"

'It's a selfie.'

"This was his real breakthrough piece."