Art Debate Gifts

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"Well....I could've done this!"

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

'Nice, but it needs more angst.'

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

"What are they saying this week? Are coffee, chocolate, and wine good or bad for us?"

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

"He's left out the staples"

''The Thinker' is an outdated concept.'

'The artist did this one during his 'I've got no idea' - period.'

"Apparently he only uses fugitive colours."

Tilted painting

"You've once said about your work, 'Meow, meow-meow, meeeow.' What did you mean by that?"

'I can't tell the kitch from the schlock any more.'

"Is this 'pollocks'."

"I'm expected to write a good review of this stuff... So here I go with some confusing art rhetoric."

"That's the fire alarm. . ."

"He's not an enfant terrible, he's just terrible."

'Turned out non-figurative again...'

A man is looking at a sign saying Exhibition of art exhibition jargon.

'Well, you're not Michaelangelo!'

Don't give up the hunting and gathering.

Guillaume Apollinaire

"What about commands that violate your moral code?"

"I haven't seen their work before, I like their use of light!"

"I can't decide if that was bad in a good way, good in a good way, good in a bad way, or bad in a bad way."

Ezra Pound

'... And this is one of the artist's early pieces.'