Artsy Debater Gifts

"It's PENCILvania!!!"

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

The opera - 'Please, sir, give us your ticket, if you ain;t a-goin' in again.'

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

"What are they saying this week? Are coffee, chocolate, and wine good or bad for us?"

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

Gustav Holst

I'll admit I haven't been waiting all my life to meet you, but I have waited through a rough pencil sketch, the inking process and Photoshop lettering. Surely that's worth something! !?!

Chicken standing on a platform on a stage with three horns in front of it and wearing a top hat; a sign on the side of the platform reads "National Endowment for the Arts - Seal of Approval."

Medusa's baby picture

"Have we looked as though we know what it is, for long enough yet?"

Big people always make a mess of things phobia: 'Let's play grownups. You'll be for busing and I'll be against it.'

"I would've started my novel by now, but I've been to busy suffering!"

Evangelical Political Influence

"Why is it that yours are 'Aha!' moments, but mine are always 'No duh?'"

'Abstract painting.'

"Curses! You have thwarted my science-based argument by quoting scripture! I'm melting! Melting! Oh, what a world! What a world! AAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."

"I can't decide if that was bad in a good way, good in a good way, good in a bad way, or bad in a bad way."

"Saying you're moral because you believe in God is like saying you're a soldier because you play 'Call of Duty'."

"Oscar, we need a good actor to present the accounts at the next tax audit meeting."

"I disagree. I think we're ninety percent breeding and ten percent grooming."

"The world needs revolutionaries...people who challenge the system, who question authority, who aren't afraid to say, 'I won't take anymore!'"

"All in favor of ending the heartache and the thousand natural shocks this firm is heir to, say aye."

"I don't know much about art, but I do know s**t when I see it."

'That was a long winded conversation...I thought he'd never stop listening.'

'Sure she's got a nice smile, but is it art?'

'Genius?! Pah! A five-year-old could paint this.' 'Perhaps... But a five-year-old couldn't convince anyone it was great art. Therein lies the genius.'

I call it "Self-portrait in Quicksand."

"Ay caramba amigo, graffiti paradise!!"

'You must assert yourself more.'

'It's always the same...Terry and Mike have a few drinks and then they start to kick off.'

ga-ga

'I bet he can run twice as fast as you can.'

Beer is made by men, wine by god.