Aristocratic Role-play Enthusiast Gifts

"Miss Penny to inquire about the tardiness of evening kibble."

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

'Some people just aren't cut out for adventure gaming, Bruno — maybe you should try chess or checkers.'

'It would never work out, Blackfire — our alignments are too different.'

"They're class action figures."

'How can you say I'm a bad actress, Tarzan?'

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

'Let's play doctor - you be the patient, you be the surgeon, and I'll be the malpractice-attorney.'

"And what if I don't want to be Jack or Ennis?"

When we said we wanted you to have more fun training we didn't mean THAT much fun.

"China Ministry of State Security Royal Infiltration Training Unit"

'We're playing 'mummy'!'

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

"These LARPERS are a bit more subtle and reality-based."

"Hey I know, let's play bored kids hanging around after school."

'I still say I should be at the REAR end, Rodney!'

"The patient is ready for his injections, doctor."

Big people always make a mess of things phobia: 'Let's play grownups. You'll be for busing and I'll be against it.'

"Do you think we could stop using 'Julius Caesar' in the role plays?"

'These online fantasy worlds are great fun. I can be ‘Dave the Accountant' from Birmingham.'

'...Just like Daddy!'

"Let's try a little role play."

"You be the Native American and I'll be the cowperson."

"Wanna play doctor?"

"Congratulations on opening night."

"Her ladyship isn't in—wait, yes, no—so sorry, she's out."

'I'm a vestal virgin.'

"I know I'm suppose to be a customer but what kind of customer...am I tortured, am I HAPPY? What's my MOTIVATION?"

"Why do I always have to play the pirates?"

The Nobility Scooter

Let's do a little role-playing, Al. You play the crazy guy who's rambling on and on about nothing, and I'll play the psychiatrist who's taking a nap.