Aristocratic Amusement Gifts

Porters carry a sedan chair up a ski slope

'You can just forget about the cake.'

"The Duke and Duchess of A.T. & T., the Count and Countess of Citicorp, the Earl of Exxon, and the Marchioness of Avco. The Duke of Warnaco..."

'Burke's B-list celebrities.'

"Ted's been down in the dumps since they started giving greed a bad name."

"Can any of us truly see ourselves?"

"China Ministry of State Security Royal Infiltration Training Unit"

'Is the poodle of the house in?'

"Miss Penny to inquire about the tardiness of evening kibble."

'He calls himself a philanthropist, but would prefer Lord Philanthropist.'

Duchess

"It's non-negotiable."

"It's said to be haunted by the ghost of the fifth earl, who fell on hard times."

"You think more of Football than you do of me!", "I think more of Earl Spencer than I do of you!!"

Queen

"So what are you the earl of?"

"Her ladyship isn't in—wait, yes, no—so sorry, she's out."

"I'm getting something to speed things up, Jenkins. A skateboard."

The Nobility Scooter

"It's Parkins, sir; we're 'aving a bit of a time below stairs."

"It's the price we pay for living an alternative lifestyle."

"He'll be damned difficult to replace!"

View Down Ladies' Mile

A House of Lords Reform: 'Please do not take shotguns or dead game into the chamber.'

'One day this will be someone else's.'

'Now cut the mustard please Loveday.'

"I told you if you wanted that fur coat sacrifices would have to be made."

"Why do all butlers say m' lud at the end of every sentence!"

Classy Dogs.

Countess

"And on the floor is the present duchess...."

The Epsom Derby - An Earl Throwing Sticks at Cocunuts

"Congratulations, it's a nepo baby."

'Darling, I'll have my coffee in my den...'

"Where's the damn bottle-opener?" "It's his day off, sir."