Aristocrat Enthusiast Gifts

'Lord and Lady Lascelles de Vere Digby and their ratty little mongrel, Tinker.'

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

'Burke's B-list celebrities.'

"The Duke and Duchess of A.T. & T., the Count and Countess of Citicorp, the Earl of Exxon, and the Marchioness of Avco. The Duke of Warnaco..."

Gentleman's Club Scene

"Can any of us truly see ourselves?"

"China Ministry of State Security Royal Infiltration Training Unit"

"This house has been in my family for a considerable period of time."

"Ted's been down in the dumps since they started giving greed a bad name."

'New money or old money?'

cayetana de alba

'Is the poodle of the house in?'

'He calls himself a philanthropist, but would prefer Lord Philanthropist.'

Duchess

"Miss Penny to inquire about the tardiness of evening kibble."

The Duke of Earl meets the Earl of Duke:''Hey, baby, wot's happenin'!' 'Charmed!'

"Call me sentimental, but if I had to live my life all over again, I wouldn't change a thing."

The Frozen Out Fox Hunter (Tobogganing)

"Darling, a rather uncomfortable distance has developed between me and the furniture."

"I may be your page today, but someday, I hope to be the whole book."

'Well it's a ransom, sire, but I wouldn't call it a King's Ransom...'

"You think more of Football than you do of me!", "I think more of Earl Spencer than I do of you!!"

"It's said to be haunted by the ghost of the fifth earl, who fell on hard times."

"So what are you the earl of?"

"Her ladyship isn't in—wait, yes, no—so sorry, she's out."

Downtrodden Abbey

'That reminds me must buy an anniversary present for Lady Caroline!!'

"I'm getting something to speed things up, Jenkins. A skateboard."

Owner: 'Why didn't you ride as I told you? Didn't I tell you to force the pace early and come away at the corner?' Jockey: 'Yes m'Lord, but I couldn't very well leave the horse behind.'

The Nobility Scooter

So Sympathetic

"It's Parkins, sir; we're 'aving a bit of a time below stairs."

'Oh yes, everyone likes him, he's not intelligent enough to make enemies.'

A House of Lords Reform: 'Please do not take shotguns or dead game into the chamber.'